THE PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
Jacob’s whole family knew he couldn't think in daylight. So they always waited until well after sunset to ask him anything. And if it was really important, they chose a cloudy night with no moon. (he had bad eyesight, and bright daylight always distracted and pained him)
But one day, right at high noon, the postman delivered a letter notifying Jacob that the bank was foreclosing on his house because his last payment was a dollar and twelve cents short.
"What are we ever going to do?" his family wailed.
Jacob stood up, walked over to the windows, pulled the heavy wood coverings closed, and drew the shades.
"This is a crisis," he said. "I shutter to think about it."
(David R. Yalet)