Joke Of The Day
Joe and Frank were in the office, and noticed that someone had put up a suggestion box with some 3x5 cards next to it. Both decided that this was a great idea, and each took a card to fill out.
Joe wrote, "The office workers should all be given raises!"
When he looked at Frank's card, it said "Can we all have raises, and keys to the executive washroom, and personal secretaries, and new company cars, and new coffee cups, and longer lunch breaks, and an extra three weeks vacation each year, and a holiday on St. Patrick's Day, and Columbus Day and Martin Luther King's Birthday?"
Joe said, "Frank, that isn't the right way of getting things changed around here. . . . You shouldn't put all of your begs in one ask-it."
After the Third Carlist War in 1876, Spain and France divided the Euzkadi homeland in the Spanish Pyrenees.
To avoid conscription by the Spaniards, many residents fled to America. By paying a fee, a man could leave the country and return later without the stigma of desertion.
The emigrants hoped to find gold in California, repay their debts, and return to their native land.
Alas, as we know, not all newly arrived fortune seekers struck it rich. The refugees were left stranded.
The moral: Don't put all your Basques in one exit.
Extra Bonus Joke:
Once there was a circus that was without a doubt the best circus in the world because it boasted the best lion tamer in the world. He was spectacular, the lions would do whatever he said. The high point, of course, was that he would stick his head in a lions mouth.
When the circus started losing money the owner started selling off animals and equipment to help meet expenses. He called the Lion Tamer into his office.
"I'd really like to keep you on because you keep the circus going," the owner said, "but, I've had to sell your lions because they cost too much to feed. Still, you're good, and we need you, so if you can come up with an act with what we have left, you've got a job."
"Well, I do need a job," the Lion Tamer said. "What animals do you have left?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," the owner said, "the only animal I have left is my faithful old Bassett hound. I'd never sell him!"
"I'll take him," said the Tamer.
So the Lion Tamer worked with the Bassett hound and taught him the entire lion act. The dog caught on right away but there was a problem. No way was the Lion Tamers head going to fit into the dog's mouth. "My foot will fit," the Lion Tamer said. So he tried it, and sure enough the dog picked that up too.
On opening night, the Lion Tamer did the act with the Bassett hound and the crowd loved it. They'd never seen anything like it before.
At the end of the act when the Lion Tamer put his foot into the dog's mouth, the crowd went wild.
"Encore, encore!" the crowd yelled.
Well, the Lion Tamer hadn't thought of an encore before, so he thought to himself, "If one foot is good, two is better." So, he stuck his other foot into the dog's mouth.
Well, the two feet together are almost as big as the dog's head, so the dog was choking and gasping, and finally out of self-preservation, he clamped his jaws shut, biting off the Lion Tamers legs at mid-calf.
The moral of the story is: "Don't put all your legs in one Bassett."