Signs It's Way Too Hot
1. The pizza you ordered is actually the same temperature that it came out of the oven when the delivery guy FINALLY gets it to your door.
2. The water in your swimming pool can be used to cook vegetables.
3. Cows give homogenized milk right there at the Dairy.
4. Chickens lay hard boiled eggs.
5. You can cook a full meal in your crock pot without ever plugging it in.
6. The frozen pork loin you bought at the grocery on special is fully cooked by the time you get home and you only live a two minute drive from the store.
7. The squash in your garden are fully cooked when you pick them.
8. "Ice Cube" forced to change his name to "Wet Spot."
9. Too late, you realize that killing someone for a Slurpee is probably a crime.
10. Al Gore takes credit for inventing air conditioning.
11. You shaved ten minutes off the morning commute by cooking breakfast on your dashboard on the way in.
12. Your kids are toasting marshmallows -- by sticking them out the window.
13. Water comes out of the 'cold' faucet at the same temperature as the 'hot' faucet.
It’s so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold that your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass.
It’s so cold that the police tell a robber to freeze, and he does.
It’s so cold that mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold that our words froze in midair we have to put them in a frying pan to thaw them to hear what we're talking about.