Joke Of The Day

In old Wimbledon Village, town planners,
Advertised their home sites with some banners;
If you want to "hold court",
We can build you a fort,
Just be sure to always "mind your Manors!"

For three million bucks he insured her.
To die really soon he preferred her.
Man's enticed to kill,
But he never will.
Got arrested for a tempted murder.
(Kirk Miller)

The comedian puts on a skit
That's not funny at all, not a bit.
He's stupid, folks declare,
And also unaware.
The comedian doesn't know wit.
(Kirk Miller)

The young sous chef became all a flutter
At his exam. He started to sputter,
"When you dehorn, I know,
That you get oleo,
From a cow who's no longer a butter."
(Chris Gross)

The compression socks worn by Lorraine
Were designer-made, didn't look plain.
She wore them each day,
Caused people to say
That the reason's because she's so vein.
(Kirk Miller)

Thought the bread diet seemed apropos;
It was something I had to forgo.
Though I gave it a try,
'Twas expensive, so I
Had to quit 'cause I ran out of dough.
(Kirk Miller)

Executioner's educated
On his job, and he demonstrated
That he has lots of skill
Which he uses to kill.
People say that he's dead-icated.
(Kirk Miller)

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