12 Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me,
I'm glad we bought fresh turkey and a proper Christmas Tree.
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard,
As we tucked into that turkey - a most delicious bird.
On the third day of Christmas we entertained the people from next door.
The turkey tasted just as good as it had the day before.
On the fourth day of Christmas relations came to stay,
Poor Gran is looking old.
We finished up the Christmas pudding and ate the turkey cold.
On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried.
But we were nice and warm inside; we had the turkey curried.
On the sixth day of Christmas I must admit, the Christmas spirit died. The
children fought and bickered; we ate turkey rissoles fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince,
When he sat down at the table and was offered turkey mince.
On the eighth day of Christmas the nerves were getting frayed.
The dog had run for shelter;
I served up turkey pancakes and a glass of Alka Seltzer.
On the ninth day of Christmas our cat had left home,
By lunchtime Dad was blotto.
He said he had to have a drink, to face turkey risotto.
On the tenth day the booze had all gone
(except our home-made brew),
And if that wasn't bad enough we suffered turkey stew.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting,
The mince pies were as hard as rock and the turkey was revolting.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love had a smile upon his lips,
The guests had gone, the turkey too-
AND WE DINED ON FISH AND CHIPS!!