A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the 9:30 service at one church to the 11 o'clock at the other. He would often find the parking lot of the second church full, and be forced to park down the road and race to the church on foot.
The problem was finally solved when he selected a parking spot near the side door of the church and posted a sign that read, "You Park - You Preach."
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Bonus Joke:
When I asked my friend if she was planning to attend church, she just shook her head. "I haven't gone in a long time," she said. "Besides, it's too late for me. I've probably already broken all seven commandments."
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Extra Bonus Joke:
A young man living in a puritan community had difficulty with etiquette. He asked an elder to teach him proper manners.
On Sunday as he was about to go into church ahead of his elder, the elder pulled him back and, furthermore, allowed a lady to go ahead of them both. "Remember," explained the elder, It is I before thee, except after she.”