Farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. He is asked what he is going to do with all the money.
"Oh, I guess the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills"
"And what about the rest?" the reporter asks.
Farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess the rest of 'em will just have to wait."
A farmer wants to know how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his border collie to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them and runs back to the farmer.
The farmer asks, "How many?"
The dog replies, "40."
The farmer is surprised and says, "How can there be 40 -- I only bought 38!"
The dog says, "I rounded them up."
Extra Bonus Joke:
A farm was sold to some city folks. The old farmer next door was out one day and saw the new neighbor planting in his garden.
The farmer watched as the man would dig a hole, set a tomato plant and pour in a shot of whiskey. The farmer couldn't help but ask what he was planting.
"Stewed tomatoes," was the reply.