If Patrick Henry thought taxation was bad without representation... he should see it with!
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
Don't steal. Banks hate the competition.
My dog used to chase anyone on a bike, so I took it away from him.
The number you have reached is imaginary. Rotate your iPhone screen 90 degrees and redial.
Sometimes I think I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
You know you're old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you.
There is nothing wrong with today's teenager that twenty years won't cure.
He who hesitates is not only lost, but probably several miles from the next freeway exit.
Why doesn't Sweden export cattle?
They want to keep their Stockholm
When should you charge a new battery?
When you can't pay cash
What do giraffes have that no other animal has?
Try to save your money; who knows maybe it will become valuable again.
It takes more and more money to support the government in the style to which it has become accustomed.
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
The IRS has finally put poverty within our reach.
Never invest in anything that eats, sleeps or needs repairing.
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools.
A bargain: something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
English farmers are feeding their cattle healthier food to reduce the amount of gas they produce. Farmers also say they won't fall for the old 'pull my hoof' trick.
A recent article says yoga-related injuries are on the rise. It's not surprising that yoga fans are upset with this article. After all, it's easy for them to get bent out of shape.
Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.